How do you use trust in your life?
A recent conversation with my friend Christopher Childers from episode 013, revealed an element of being a performer that I had never really considered before. Performers use trust in their life. He said that we have been trusting everyone to do their jobs this whole time. The tech crew has the backstage under control, the lights will not fall on us, the music will always play (eventually…,) and our costumes fit us and will not fail. (Hopefully!)
Trust has been a big part of my life
I hadn’t realized that I knew to my core that the show will go on, all I had to do was show up and dance my ass off. I didn’t have to micromanage or double check that everyone had done their jobs, or that they wouldn’t forget their cues. I trusted that the show ran like a machine because everyone knew their part in the bigger picture.
Trust that the floor will be there to catch me when I fall.
I have been trusting long before I knew what the eff it was about. Can you imagine being 11 years old and executing a backwards spin on one leg and drop to the ground in a backbend from the spin? Yeah, these were the impressive movements back in the days when contemporary jazz was called “lyrical modern.” Back attitude knee drop, we called it. Aye, my poor little bony knees…there is still a scar on that knee from the bruises.
But I knew if I just did the double pirouette, and bent my knees, the floor would be there to catch me. And it was there for me, every time.
I have made some scary decisions based on trust in life.
I have trusted a lot of people in my life that now, I am not so sure I should have, but that’s another story entirely. Some exciting adventures I have been on:
- I got to get up on that stage every time from the time I was three years old, trusting that the audience wouldn’t boo me off the stage.
- I got to fly halfway across the world by myself at the age of sixteen to study with the Bolshoi Ballet Academy, without knowing how to speak or write the language.
- I got to audition for the largest Showgirl show in Las Vegas and trust that this dangerous show would not kill me.
- I got to have babies without knowing if I could afford the lifestyle change or that I would be a good mama.
- I got to move my family across the Pacific Ocean and back to the mainland, without knowing what would happen on the other end.
- I got to get my butt back up onstage after almost a decade of not performing without knowing a thing about burlesque.
- I got to build a business based on my passions and unique talents.
- I got to fall in love with my best friend and continue to build incredible adventures.
- I got to start a podcast that features former Showgirls, dancers and crew that worked on all those beautiful shows.
I am trusting that everything is exactly as it should be in this moment—even if it feels scary.
The next evolution of me and my passions begins now. I will be making more visible shifts in the way I am preserving the Showgirl and how that wisdom will be shared with the masses. It’s all very exciting!
I am a lighthouse for other women.
I like to lead by example to show women what is possible. To help others see that there is in fact a third option. I wonder if you knew there was a third option. It took me awhile to see it too. But then one day, the veil was removed. And I can’t unsee what I saw that day. (That is a dark story and I’m hoping one day I will be able to share.)
Thank you for reading. I hope this message inspires you to listen and trust.
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